Time flies y'all. I had just twisted my ankle last post. This post I'm finally walking on it for a decent stretch of time without severe consequences. It does still hurt though. Obviously it was pretty bad. 

I've had a couple opportunities to use my pyrography kit. I made a cute little plaque for Geof to use at work. I suppose it's actually for his new supervisor, so I'm glad she thinks it's awesome. 

I finally started working on Geof's painting again. I'm still working on it...it's on hiatus again, though. For now.

I'm working on setting up an online shop to sell all the stuff I make now. 

I got really distracted while writing this and forgot to post it and only just now came back to it and I don't remember what I had intended to write after all that, if anything, so I'm posting now and I'll come back to this again later when I remember it exists. My ankle is taking a lot of time to heal, btw...I probably sprained it pretty good. A friend suggested I use a cane so it doesn't get overly upset while I have to use it while I walk my patrols for work. I might get one. I don't know yet. 

Ok bye!

Burn, Baby Burn! ...Ouch...

It's almost 4 am, Wednesday November 4. I just got off work nearly an hour ago, and I've not yet slept. My last post was October 30. I've been recovering from pretty extreme sleep deprivation the last several days. Maybe I'll finally feel back to normal, sleep-wise, when I wake up (hopefully not before noon). 

Backstory: 

On the 30th, after I finished submitting my last post, I spent some time perusing Amazon and researching pyrography tools and kits. I found the one I wanted and put it into the cart to save for later. I then told Geof about it and made sure to note that I did not intend for it to be a purchase for now, but for later. I then turned over to go to sleep. Unbeknownst to me, Geof decided to just purchase it outright. 

Separate back story: Don't know if I mentioned before, probably not, but I saw a cool artist fundraiser ad for the Brooklyn art museum. It involved purchasing a sketch book from them to fill up with art of basically any kind imaginable, then returning it by a certain deadline, if possible. The reward is that they'll take your art and put it into their museum of sketch books. If you purchase additionally to have it made digital, it gets uploaded to their online library. If you get it returned on time, it travels around the world in their bookmobile as well. I purchased one for myself and one for Evelyn to fill up. And added on the digital. Don't recall when this took place.

On the 31st, we did not celebrate Halloween. I worked as usual. While at work, I did some Amazon shopping for a new pill container to make our daily meds more convenient. What I immediately noticed, was that the pyrography kit I'd put in the cart, was not in the cart. I then checked the save for later section and it wasn't there either. So, to ensure I wasn't insane and that I truly had placed it into the cart, I checked the purchases. And I chuckled, cause Geof just can't help himself on my birthday. He decided it must be my birthday gift, even though the new phones was my birthday gift. I shan't complain, but I shall roll my eyes and smile every time. After work, we went shopping. I enjoyed seeing the costumed workers sprinkled around the store, and as always, I wished I was able to dress up in costume every day of the year. 

On the 1st, I worked again, as usual. Woke up less tired than I expected, thank you daylight savings (doesn't make me a fan of daylight savings; I think it's stupid and unnecessary and annoying). After work, I returned home to open up my new birthday gift, the pyrography kit, then I took it to BtG to show off to Nate. I had planned to stay a while, but as soon as I arrived, Geof texted that he just finished gaming (an hour early). So instead, I returned home to pick up Geof and we went to Omaha to pick up more of his new wool panties from Duluth trading. Then we used my birthday coupon for a dinner at Qdoba before returning home.  By the time we got home, the new pill organizer had arrived, so after a chat with mom and after showing off my new pyrography kit, I set to work changing our pills out of the old and into the new. The new container didn't fit; so I ended up getting distracted for basically the rest of the night cleaning and organizing the vanity, med cabinet, and another cabinet which holds other similar items, like surplus, hair care products and makeup. I removed a bunch of expired meds in the process. I'm still quite proud of how it all turned out and that I managed to do it at all (thank you Adderall).

On the 2nd, I had intended to put up a shelf in the bathroom, take the expired meds for destruction, and drop some mail at the post office. I received a call from the dentist, though, that they had an immediate opening, so instead I went to have my tooth fixed up and postponed the rest. After the dentist I handled the meds and mail before returning home. 

Mental Health: Struggles, Secrets, Symptoms and how we Succeed Despite it All.

It's been a while since I last posted. Depending on your problem-solving skills, you might deduce at least one, maybe the only, reason why it's been so long. I will not be covering every day I've missed, I'll instead be summing up a small portion from the last week or so.

I need to preface this post, because it's probably not going to be my usual amazingly hilarious format (to whomever wishes to point out a decided lack of hilarity from any past posts, just hush). Factual details of the following post aside, it must be noted that Geof is an amazing person and I love him like crazy. I do not regret choosing him, and I doubt I ever will, regardless of the struggles we have. It's all just part of the adventure.

I don't recall whether I mentioned or not, but I am participating in an ADHD drug study. The study drug I'm on is no longer used for what it was originally created for, so it is being tested for ADHD. I presume it showed signs of helping with certain ADHD difficulties, maybe? Anyway, I digress.

And now to begin... 

First, my period started just before the weekend and I had probably the worst pain from it in a very long time. Pain meds didn't seem to touch the pain, and I had to work through it on Thursday night. It was basically a nightmare.

Over this last week, I began to notice Geof starting to get edgy and reactive. For instance, an increase of yelling over minor frustrations, intense and harsh body language (scary for me, causing me to jump or flinch), not usually directed toward me, but causing a very stressful environment. 

Parentheses {Are [Fun (Tools)]}: OMG I Just Realized I Didn't Cuss at All in This One!

 Geof finally wrote another blog post. It's taken him foreeeever...  (The link to his post is over there -->

So I figure I should probably write something too. I don't really know what I want to write yet, though. I knew what I wanted to write yesterday, but then I did something else instead of writing because I didn't feel like writing. So now I get to struggle to think of something to write. 

Thursday I did some drawing, but not on the drawing I was supposed to work on. And Geof brought his bike home with its new tubeless tires. I also removed the hard drive from the desk top computer I built in 2009, the last time I used the computer was 2013, and started transferring some of the personal stuff over to my external hard drive. I hope I can gather some of my old art work to potentially add to my gallery and/or for the purposes of making new art by using an already made base to manipulate. I plan to then delete as much of the personal stuff as I can from the hard drive before giving the computer to a friend whom I very much hope will benefit from it. I also spent some time talking with my mom. She asked me to mail a thing for her on Friday because she and dad decided short-notice to just go out camping. When Geof got home, we went to the Verizon store to get a sim card for my new phone and get it added to Geof's pre-pay account. We had set up Geof's new phone during lunch. I wasn't able to get my phone number ported over, though, which was annoying. Then I worked.

Today I slept as long as possible with way too much interruption. Then I got my phone number ported over and had to contact the other carrier to give me a new number and set back up my service, since it wasn't ended yet. Then we went shopping {on my way to meet Geof for shopping, I stopped at the post office for mom [you're welcome, mom! (I'm proud of me 'cause I remembered without anyone's reminders!)] then at the bank to deposit money}. It was a terrible time to go shopping. I was hungry the whole time. I ended up getting too many snack things because I was hungry. At the Hy-Vee check-out I got a Kit-Kat and started opening it, then realized I was wearing a mask, so I had to wait until I got outside to eat it. It was a huge bummer. Geof and the cashier were entertained though, so there's that. When we entered the Hy-Vee, a guy was walking behind us and I gave him a cart so he wouldn't have to wait for us. When we left, he was leaving at the same time and while passing us, he told a couple silly dad-jokes 😅 'cause he was feeling friendly 💛. 

        Why did the cantaloupe jump into the lake?

                It wanted to be a watermelon.

        How do you get a 1-armed man out of a tree?

                Wave at him.

When we got home, we watched a couple episodes of The Good Place while we ate. Then we hung out and Geof wrote his blog post while I played with my phones, and now I'm writing MY blog post while he's watching bicycle stuff on YouTube. I should probably finish up here quickly, though 'cause I have work in the morning, which means waking up too early. I checked the weather, and it's not supposed to drop below 50, so it should be a decent ride in the morning. Which will be nice. 

I'm starting to feel tired, so maybe I'll be able to sleep a decent amount if I try now, so I'll catch ya'll later. 💛💛

POP Goes the Weasel!

 Good evening all you gorgeous people! 

I tried "readership" instead, and it just sounded boring and lame, so I think "you gorgeous people," though more wordy, is much better suited.

Guess what! My new tights arrived! YAY!!

The style is called "Jane" (I've decided it's because it's "plain jane" cuz they're all solid colors and basic stitching) and the color is called "Tan" though I think the color is more like chocolate milk with way too much milk and not enough chocolate. I suppose the center photo kind of looks tan, but really they don't look tan.

On the subject of tights, my mom read my blog (hehe she reads my blog ya'll, she even had me put a button in her browser for quick access. So awesome! Moms rock.) and decided she wants to try out the tights I buy. Since I have a VIP membership, I was able to get some for her to try at a discount! It says fast shipping, so I think they should come within the week. I hope so at least. I'm excited.

Today is game day, and since we're still in the same dungeon, I was plenty prepared tonight 😊. It was fun except for the silly interruption of my early birthday present (from Geof) coming in the mail, and annoying internet connection issues. I think everyone had fun. 

My early birthday present was new Moto G Power phones for Geof and me. We also got a cool Bluetooth speaker for Evelyn since she loves listening to music while doing chores, and this will make it easier. And I got a bunch of adhesive backed vinyl sheets to cut stickers out of. I'll be doing it the old fashioned way, by hand, since I don't yet have a Cricut (I totally want one some day, but I have so many art toys already, it's just gonna have to wait). I probably wrote previously that Geof wants some question mark stickers in purple and white for his bike to commemorate The Riddler since Riddler is a brand of something or other on his bike. I'll also be using an orange sheet to make Mets and Orioles logo stickers for his bike. I'll have to get creative!

I meant to do some more drawing today but didn't get to it. I was tired this afternoon. So I'll try to sit down and focus on that tomorrow. I need to kick my motivation in high gear. I really think I need to get on some ADHD meds, 'cause some people say it helps a LOT. I'm beginning to wonder if the study drug I'm on is causing me to be more tired than usual. I seem to lack energy all the time. Maybe I'm just getting old...

Ooh! Important info! We voted today! I took all our ballots over and dropped them off at the Election Commissioner drop box. We got to teach Evelyn about what kinds of things are on a ballot and why. Reasons to vote for or against certain things. All the important civil info crap kids should learn. On that note, I think the voting age should be lowered to 16. And I think schools should make teaching the ins and outs of voting and why to vote and how to vote responsibly a major priority and begin teaching kids around age 6 or so. So by the time they are old enough to vote, it's been drilled into them how to research candidates and initiatives and all that shit. We have too many people who vote irresponsibly. Including myself, 'cause I'm sometimes just uncaring about certain aspects of government. If it's not obvious by now that we really shouldn't be, then, well...maybe we're all just dummy-heads.

I started watching The Good Place recently. I'm totally binging it while I'm at work. 'Cause I can. It's great TV. Totally worth watching. You should watch it if you don't already. I started it for two reasons. 1, I finished my Skin Wars binge. 2, tons of people and close friends kept telling me I should. I have not regretted my choice. I'm probably going to be disappointed when I get to the end. I always am when it's a good series.

Crazy info: I think we're down to 1 spoon in the house. I used one earlier today, then Evelyn came in and asked for it (I guess she couldn't find a different one), and then tonight Geof went off to Evelyn to get the same one again! Maybe we're gonna have to break down and actually wash dishes. 

I think with that, I'm gonna finish here and get a snack then go to bed. 

Catch ya on the flip side! 💛💛

Damnit Facebook!

Damnit Facebook, why you gotta go and rile me up like this?!?

Alright, brace yourselves people, you're about to get to know some of Christa's opinions about some touchy subjects.

I am pro life AND pro choice. I firmly believe, based on scripture, that Elohim (the living God) is as well. I will not be changing my mind on this, nor will I argue with you if you attempt to argue. You're welcome to disagree and have your own opinions, but mine will not change. It's simply what I know to be true. 

Because of this, I have to say that the choice needs to be available. And as Geof pointed out in a Facebook post not long ago, even if our federal government makes abortion illegal, each individual state is still going to have it their own way. Removing abortion entirely is never going to happen. Making it illegal only makes it more likely that more women (and probably young girls) will die.

Why, when it only manages to cause more death, do we insist on making abortion illegal? Not only are people pushing to make abortion illegal, they're also pushing to make it more difficult to get contraceptives! Seriously, does anyone think at all before making decisions like this?! Taking away contraceptives increases STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Couple that with illegal abortion, and you have just significantly increased abortions overall and increased the likelihood that women and girls will die from unsafe abortions and/or unsafe abortion attempts. How can anyone think this is OK? 

Next touchy subject: Why, as proclaimed Christians, do you continue to insist on shaming people for their choices?

Do you even know what Christian means? It means follower of Christ. And if you aren't following his example, then what the fuck are you, really? You're not a Christian at that point, you're a religious person with a belief system based off of a book you don't really comprehend, and which you likely consider to be entirely flawless, despite being written by humans. It seems to me that, over time, "Christians" have come to worship a book and a religious system built around certain things written in said book, instead of living a life in a way that fits the example given by Yeshu'a, for how to live, and recorded in the aforementioned book. If we claim to follow him. Our ONLY job is to LOVE! The Beatles were totally onto something, you know. 

If we want to be examples of Yeshu'a to this world we live in, we have to step away from religion and what we think we know about "Christianity." Spending time with people we consider to be sinners, without doing or saying things that cause them to feel as though they are lesser. Love them. Acknowledge them where they are, and let them grow their own way and in their own time. Let them choose their own path. And continue to love them. We are not able to see into the hearts of people. It's not our job to judge what we think we see. It's our job to love. Each individual person knows where they stand with Elyon (God most high) and it is between only that person and El Roi (the God who sees me) whether they have changes to make in their life, and how they go about making those changes. It's our job to walk beside them, pick them up when they fall, forgive them when they need it, and continue to love them. In other words, it's our job to show them what it really means to be loved unconditionally. How is that even possible, you say? Well, it's not 'cause we live in an imperfect world, but it's worth the continued attempt. I suppose we'll just have to do our best. Hold ourselves accountable when we realize we've fucked up, and do our best to make amends when we can.

 ___

Now that I got that out of my system, let's see if I can catch you up on the days I neglected to write.

Friday: We went to Omaha! The plan was to go to Duluth to pick up some big-boy panties (Goef says I need to call them "fancy" panties) for Geof. They're made with moisture wicking materials, which makes them much more healthy to wear. Then to drop off Evelyn's school computer things from last year and pick up her new school computer things for this year. Then to have dinner. Then to meet my amazing friend, A. Jo. for driveway dessert and chatting. Unfortunately life things came up and the driveway and dessert had to be cancelled 😞. So we went to Duluth, did the school computer stuff trade, then went to Qdoba for dinner. The ride out was really windy. I assumed we must be riding into the wind. The ride back, however, was even MORE windy, so I knew we were DEFINITELY riding into the wind. Had to stop just before Lincoln to take a break, drink some Gatorade, and stretch. While we were stopped on the side of I 80, a huge group of motorcycles was going by and one or two guys were about to stop, so we waved them on so they knew we were OK. It's awesome to know someone's willing to stop to assist though! It made me happy. Friday was a great day. It ended well also.

Saturday: Worked most of the day. Finished @ 1900, and Geof asked if I'd meet him for shopping. So I rode out to meet him at Sam's just in time to check out, so assisted with that. We filled up the gas tanks next, then we went to Hy-Vee to finish the shopping. Geof had neglected to eat prior to shopping and was extremely testy. I ended up leaving before we finished shopping, 'cause despite any possible reasons behind certain behaviors, there's zero reason for me to allow myself to be treated poorly. 

Appropriate personal boundaries are healthy, and I don't care what anyone else thinks about that. If you want to talk to me and you can speak to me politely and calmly, I'll gladly stay to chat. If you start snapping at me, being rude, and treating me like shit, I'm walking the fuck away. 

The rest of Saturday night was tense, but didn't go negative again, so that was good.

Sunday: Worked in the morning. At some point during work, while picking at a plugged up pore on my bottom right eyelid (it's been there a while, not sure how long, but this weekend I couldn't keep from picking at it), it finally popped! I finished work @ 1500 and rode home. When I got home, Geof was cleaning his bike while the boys played outside. I put water into a bucket for them 'cause they looked thirsty. Put my work stuff inside, and chatted with my mom for a bit. She made some apple fritters with baked brown sugar frosting. They were delicious! She then put a couple on a paper plate with a couple Cuties and a napkin and asked me to take them across the street to a guy who was sitting at the corner with a cardboard sign. He'd been sitting there quite a while, so I also grabbed a Gatorade for him 'cause it was really hot out (nearly 90!). 

When I got back, Geof asked if I'd go with him to David City so he could check out the gravel roads he planned to bike during our trip next year. I, of course, said yes. So he started getting ready to go and I played with the boys for a bit with the hose. Tucker adores playing in the water! It's so funny to watch! After taking the boys inside, I hosed down Tucker's harness, 'cause he rolled around in the dirt while I was playing with him with the hose. I hung up his harness to dry, then we left for David City. 

I rested on the way, 'cause I was tired from getting up super early. When we reached David City, I got up to check out the park with Geof, since we needed to figure out where the camping sites were. They have a lovely and very large park. It was surprising, honestly. As we headed out of town, I asked Geof to stop somewhere so I could eat. We stopped at Subway. Turns out their Subway has a pizza place and an ice cream shop inside it as well. Crazy. So I masked up, walked in, saw the guy behind the counter had a mask, was pleased! Made the order, blah blah blah, about to be finished and 3 teens come in. None wearing a mask. When I notice, as I'm turning to leave, I can't get past with sufficient distance. I asked them to please give me some space to get out and made sure to tell them it was because none of them were wearing a mask. UGH. PEOPLE!!

Get home, shave Geof's head, and then buzz mine. While I'm buzzing my head, the wind hits so hard and fast it literally shakes the house! Crazy! At some point, while I'm about to start bathing, somehow what I say causes offense and suddenly it's Saturday night all over again. UGH. I cut it off so I could just finish my bath. While bathing, I realized I'd missed a portion while buzzing my hair, so I took a razor and adjusted it. I have no idea whether it turned out OK or not, 'cause I didn't ask Geof and I couldn't see it 😂. When I left the bathroom, it was as if nothing had happened. I was too tired for anything at that point, though, so we watched the first episode of The Good Place and then I went to sleep.

Today is Indigenous Peoples Day. I just found out that they decided to keep the old name as well. I asked Geof why, and he said, "Because he's white." I see no other reason for it, so he's probably right.

Today started out brilliantly. We had breakfast around noon. Geof decided to put some clear vinyl on his bike in strategic locations to help protect the paint from chipping by rocks and let the dogs play a while. I ended up coming to help him, and he decided to turn the bike upside down to make it easier. While the bike was upside-down and I was putting vinyl on, Geof noticed that his rear derailleur was more messed up than he originally thought, so he wanted to take it to the bike shop today instead of riding, as he had originally intended to do. 

I rode Leila over to Monkey Wrench to meet Geof so he could ride back with me. Geof also decided to have his tires changed to tubeless, so Monkey Wrench will do that as well, while they have it. After we finished with the bike stuff, I suggested we go eat. We ate at Panera. I finished much more than I though I would. Next we came home and Geof left to get Evelyn from her dad's. 

My bottom right eyelid is sore from yesterday, but I think it's getting better. Oooh, forgot to mention that I also bought some clear, bendy navel rings. My navel piercing has been giving me fits whenever I wear clothing tight up against it. It gets really painful. So I switched to one of the new clear ones I got, but I chose one that doesn't have balls on the ends, to see if it worked. It ended up causing a sore, so I took it out yesterday morning and forgot to put a different one in right away. This afternoon I remembered to put one in with balls on the ends, so they shouldn't cause sores again. When I was trying to put it in, though, it wouldn't go through! I managed to get it through after some effort, but I think I'm going to have to find a way to stretch the hole so that a day without a ring won't close it up so tight that I can't get it back in. I wonder if something like that even exists...

On that note, I'm gonna be done here so I can start preparing for work. It's gonna be a late one tonight.

Ugh... someone help me find a business partner or three so I can get this damn business to start raking in the dough so I can start making my own work schedule and not have to be up til 3 am unless it's for making art!

My Hair Feels Like Velvet.

Today was pretty basic. Apart from the normal "get Geof for lunch", I went to ACE hardware for a couple screws to attach a cushion to Leila's bitch seat. It was either stolen or fell off at some point, so had to order a new one. Then gave myself a blister while attaching it. 

Then I had to wait for my parent's delivery 'cause the delivery required a signature from an adult and mom & dad had to go sign bank paperwork 'cause the bank lost it 🙄. 

The delivery came less than 10 minutes after they left and only asked for my last name. I then opened it for them because it's just what I do. Plus I already knew what it was. It was blueberry mead and a couple glasses from Artivem Mead Co., my younger brother's new business. I took pictures for mom, you may enjoy them as well:

Then I spent some time in the bathroom for the IBS before picking up Geof from work.

Next was parent teacher conferences, which we did online. Evelyn isn't having any struggles, so they went very quickly. Geof and I decided to go out for motorcycle gas, fancy soda from Hy-Vee, and dinner from Qdoba afterwards. 

While at Hy-Vee Geof remembered that I have to work tonight. Unhappy reminder, but necessary. So ended up getting Qdoba to go and eating at home, which was probably the safest option anyway. 

Before heading to work Geof mentioned I have a delivery on its way from POP Fit Clothing. I signed up for their VIP membership, so each month I get a new pair of tights in the mail. I love their tights. They're slick and comfy, never see through and all of them have pockets! I also use tights under my clothes instead of underwear (underwear isn't healthy, so I stopped wearing it), so I have a few pair of shorts tights from them too. I'm excited to see what color is coming this time. Don't know how long they'll take to arrive, but I'll definitely update here when they do!

Anywho, I'm at work now. I'll be here till 3 am. I'm wearing my new mask (someone not wearing one just complimented it lol, wtf?). Unless people stop coming and going long enough, I'll probably not take it off all night (apart from my outdoor patrols). It's already uncomfortable, so we'll see how it goes. I'd much rather suffer than get my family sick, though, so it's a sacrifice I must make to protect my family. 

Did I mention we're planning to start wearing masks at home too? Should've been all along, but it's an annoyance and inconvenient. With as bad as it's getting here in Nebraska, though, I think we have little choice at this point. My chances of getting infected are high despite the mask, 'cause it can supposedly get in via eyes, so I just hope I stay lucky. 

As usual, few here @ work are wearing masks (none of the people who are partying in large groups and tiny apartments). All of Nebraska has basically decided, despite the extreme rise in cases, that the social distancing and mask wearing should be over. God help us all.

Sigh...

I feel like I failed to make today's post funny. I'm a massive failure, I know (and don't you fucking argue with me, I'm not nearly negative enough to actually believe that bullshit). I promise I might do better next time.

Ooooh! I might have something funny for you!! It's a Facebook conversation that's in process. I'll preface for you: There was that 7 hour stand-off in Eagle which I told you about. Well, in Facebook I didn't get nearly so snarky, but I did ask if the guy was white. This question hit a nerve in some Karen (just ignore her posted name, 'cause she's definitely Karen), and the following has come from it:

Ok, so maybe only funny to me. It's just so absurd to have someone call me racist 😂. I feel like she's going to keep trying to press the issue. If she does, should I get a little crazy and say something to trigger her more? Or just ignore her? I so enjoy trolling... But maybe it's not a good idea here...? Give me input!!

Until next time, my peeps, go rub some velvet, cuz it's a lovely feeling. 💛💛

I Have the Hiccups (this has literally nothing to do with the post)

 The most annoying parts about being the DM are (in no particular order): trying to answer a question that you weren't prepared to have to answer; attempting, on the fly, to rearrange how the story plays out when the characters do something that isn't written into the story (like wait until night when the story assumes they'll do a thing during the day); and when the characters play out a scene in a way which causes the NPCs to behave in a way that wasn't written into the story.

It was game night tonight. You probably gathered that already. 

I slept til 11 this morning. Had a nightmare that my friend tried to kill himself and I stopped him and cried a lot. I recall some of the details still, but not many. It's pretty fuzzy now. I texted him to make sure he was OK. He is. Anyway, at 11 I looked at my phone and saw that Geof wanted picked up for lunch by 11:30. It takes me at least 30 minutes to get ready and head out on the motorcycle, so I had no chill and wake up properly time. Plus I was all gassy and felt icky. So I had Evelyn prep the motorcycle and Geof's riding gear and I got myself up and moving and ready to go. Managed to get there just about 11:35, I think? So I am proud of that. Then I had to spend his entire lunch hour on the toilet. Yay for IBS. Then took him to work and when I got home I chatted with mom a while. I talked to mom about the fact that Geof and I would like to have the whole house (parents who live downstairs and us upstairs) start wearing masks all the time, cuz it would lessen the possibility of getting EVERYONE sick if one of us ends up getting ill.

When talking to my mom, a conversation quickly passes the time. We ended up chatting about all sorts of things and then mom wanted me to help her learn how to post pictures on Facebook. So I did. I explained all the pertinent information about sharing vs stealing a photo. How to share to a group or post directly to a group. All the things. Then she started spinning her wool while we chatted and it just went on and on until it was time to get Geof. He had to call me and be like, "are you going to come get me?" and I had to be like, "oh yeah, I suppose so." So I went to pick him up and we got home in time for GAME NIGHT!

Geof just brought me my meds. I forgot to take them today. Oops...Glad he brought them or I'd have missed taking them today and that would've been bad! All good tho. Back to game night.

Everyone was ready on time tonight, except Geof. :P Love you Geof! The game went well, I think. We'll pick back up next week at the top of battle round 4.

After gaming Geof came in (we game in separate rooms cuz Skype and feedback) and we had ice cream (Ben and Jerry's, which is the best ice cream. Fight me.). 

I'm hungry again now. I don't want to get up, though, so guess it will have to wait til tomorrow or until Geof decides he needs a snack hehe. Love you Geof!!!

Good night for now, peoples. 💛💛

The Weird Things that Happen After Midnight:30.

It's midnight:30 and I decided I wanted to write.

I felt the need to do a bit of work on my gallery and then remembered that a commission I did a while back got abandoned, so I put it up for sale (If you are or know a Taurus who loves piranha, check it out in my gallery under "discount" then hit me up via Facebook Messenger if you are interested in purchasing. Happy to haggle, if you've got good reason, so share it with me!).

OMG! I totally just told someone, "You're welcome to politely fuck off now" and it was awesome! I said it 'cause the dumbshit was trying to argue facts with the master of factual argument, using assumption, redirection and opinion. Not the best idea. I ended the argument with that statement and basically letting them know I wasn't going to respond again. If said person decides to get nosey and stalkery, they could easily find this post, but I give no fucks. I'm proud of my win, and I don't care who knows it!

Speaking of wins, I'm also proud of being ready for tomorrow's (today's?) gaming session. I really hope we don't have to cancel for some unforeseen reason. 

Another win is that it's been in the 80's and is supposed to stay in the 80's for a while here, so great riding weather!! Weather great for riding is ALWAYS a win!

Crazy shit I just read on Facebook: apparently there was a 7 hour standoff in Eagle, NE (30 min or so from Lincoln) and when they finally went into the house there was no one there. I, like the great and awesome troll that I am, decided to ask if it was a white dude that the warrant was for, cuz it would make for great comparison. Like, if it's a warrant for a white dude, you don't enter the house, but instead have a 7 hour stand-off outside an empty house to make absolutely certain you don't risk killing the guy; but if it's a black dude, you don't even wait to make sure it's the CORRECT house, and you go in shooting, and get off scott-free when you kill an innocent civilian in the process. I say this knowing nothing about the entire situation, it just brought to mind all sorts of wonderful ideas detailing the disparity we see so often these days.

Oooooh, I just discovered a way to do multiplication that I think I could actually DO! It's called lattice multiplication. I never was able to fully memorize my times tables, so I always end up counting somehow anyway, this would just put it all in front of my eyes to more easily make sure it's correct. Crazy that I've never seen it before now. While researching how/why/whether it works, I stumbled on information saying that there are ways to learn math which don't require memorization, and I want to know why we don't use those here. Certainly it would help to never have to memorize shit and still be able to math!

This post is terribly disconnected and random. Welcome to what everyone in my life experiences from me because following the paths that connect all this craziness is just too complicated to explain. I'm getting tired again, and it's now 2 hours later, so I'm gonna try to sleep. 

Be a little crazy sometimes. It makes life more fun.

New Mask Day!

New mask day, woot woot!!

Please notice in the third photo how I match the super hero behind me. 

So I'm currently chilling at Behind the Glass. Check out this awesome ring that Nathaniel Hamel (10-Knuckle Nut Punch) made:

It looks like a mountain range inside! Can you believe this amazing, hand made, acrylic infused wood ring is only $100!?!? You should see all his awesome rings. He even makes them to order, and still only $100. Totally worth it. If you haven't ever been to Behind the Glass, you need to go! I have a few jewelry pieces on display there that you can get at extreme discount, if you purchase through him. 💛

I can't think of anything else to say, so that's all you get for now. Ciao!

The Grind

 My last post was the 29th, which means it's been 5 days again. What the fuck? 

I'm tired today. I don't know if I have the mental capacity for this shit, but I'm gonna try.

Here goes:

Wednesday was game day, but we ended up canceling because one of the players wasn't going to make it and the adventuring group is currently only 4-strong, so any kind of battling could potentially just wipe the group entirely. Because we cancelled, I was able to prep for this week's game, though, so good came of it. I think game prep was basically all I did that day. I don't remember if anything else of note happened.

Thursday I did game prep again and probably little else except work that night. 

Friday I did more game prep then Goef and I rode to the eye doctor and did eye doctor-y things. After that we rode to the bank and then Scheel's to get Geof a replacement pair of really warm winter gloves (his previous pair got chewed up by Tucker). After Scheel's we went home and prepped for shopping. We did the shopping then came home and basically just crashed. I did some more game prep before sleeping, so I was up 'til like 3 am doing that.

Saturday I got up at 5 am for work and worked til 7 pm. Came home and manipulated Tucker's new harness. Opened my package that had my new straps for tying things down on the motorcycle, and edited them as well (needed them to be shorter for ease of use). THEN I went to bed around midnight or 1 am or some-such.

This morning up again at 5 (the ride this morning was fucking brutal cold), worked til 3 (had to sing on the ride home to keep from dozing or becoming distracted), home to sit on the toilet a while (undiagnosed irritable bowel syndrome), then buzzed my hair, bathed (dozed off during, cuz tired as fuck and really warm/hot water don't mix without sleep) then crashed on the bed. I'm so fucking out of it lol, and now I realize why. It was basically a fucking grind, man. Damn.

On the plus side, I don't have to work tomorrow, so I'll sleep until I wake up and hope it's enough. I'm already ready for gaming, so I won't have to do any of that. Maybe it'll be nice enough to ride and I'll get up and out of the house for a bit. Guess we'll see when we get there!

I get a new mask in the mail tomorrow, so I'll not have to be around people @work more than today without a solid N95-level mask. Which reminds me that I didn't remember to mention that my mask broke yesterday. 

It broke at the end of the day, so I only had to be around one person without the good one that day, but I forgot to give myself time to try hot gluing it back together before I had to crash, so I went without it today as well. I only had to be around a few people, and thankfully all wore masks, so I'm probably going to be fine, but I hate exposing myself more than necessary. My replacement mask is designed for industrial work, so hoping it will all fit properly and such, so I won't have to go another day without. I will definitely need something N95 quality before work on Thursday night regardless, because NO ONE WEARS MASKS THERE...ugh. Since we've suddenly ended up on this topic, I'm going to just keep going on my tangent. I found out that the virus could potentially (in a poorly ventilated, indoor space) remain viable in the air for up to an HOUR! People are so clueless, and so many think it's nothing, but we hardly know anything about this virus, and what we do know is bad news (it can effect your brain, people, along with all your other organs. It's not something to dismiss lightly.). We have zero information about the long term effects of this thing, and we won't for literally YEARS. Is it really worth the risk? For me it's not. So I'll be sure to post pictures when my new mask arrives. :) 

Happy breathing, ya'll.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

 Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 5 days since my last confession.

...

    ...

        ... 

                Ummm...no. I don't actually do that. I mean, I do confess plenty of shit, mind you, but not to a priest (usually it's less of a confession and more of me just babbling away about the shit I did that day, or interesting things that may have happened...kinda like my posts here...). But on a more serious note, it HAS been 5 days since I last posted!

Let's see, what has been happening since last I posted...what was it, Thursday? Yep, Thursday.

     Uh Friday I didn't work. Well, I mean technically I did, but it was like rollover from Thursday, 'cause Thursday is an overnight shift. Well, til 3 am on Friday. But I don't count it as Friday, 'cause I didn't sleep yet. So I think I woke up before noon, but likely didn't get up til after noon. Then I would have picked up Geof from work. We introduced Tucker to the bicycle and running alongside it. We then introduced him to the cart and running alongside that. Then introduced him to climbing into and sitting in the cart. He did great, enjoyed it all, and had a blast. No negatives during that training, so a HUGE plus! Then we went shopping. Then Geof took Evelyn home to her dad's ('cause he lost a finger at work so can't drive for a while) and I don't recall what I did during that time. Maybe I rested. Anyway, we chilled the rest of that night 'cause I had to be up early the next morning.

Which, naturally, brings me to Saturday! I got up ungodly early after having slept surprisingly well. I went to work and worked way longer than I prefer. It was already getting dark when I headed back home. Once home, I started working on cutting some 1/4" plywood to fit the shape of the bicycle cart, since it needed reinforced for the planned journey. The reviews complained of the plastic it comes with not being sturdy enough, so we're going to screw the plywood and some carpet to the plastic to make it sturdier. I finished that and got it onto the cart, then slowly made my way upstairs to bed. 

I didn't sleep as well Saturday night, but still got up at the same time Sunday morning. I was more tired during my ride to work, but thankfully I didn't have to work as long. I left work at 3, stopped at Behind the Glass to chill with Nate (the owner) a while, then returned home when Geof finished his gaming at 5:30. We got ready, then, and headed out to the 84th street MoPac trailhead with the dogs. Geof wanted to take them both for about a mile run each. He started with Tucker (remember Tucker is extremely new to this). I received a call from Geof about 8 minutes later, or so, mentioning that he went down because Tucker decided to chase a dog they had to pass on the trail. Tucker decided to run across the path in front of Geof, who was going full-speed on the bike, and yanked the bike so Geof went down. Thankfully no broken bones, just some shredded fingers on his left hand and road-rash on his left shoulder, and a couple minor knee scrapes. So he came back to the car, we got Tucker buckled back up. Geof apologized to Gotham, as was appropriate. Then we headed back home, so I could take care of all the wounds. Once home, I got the dogs inside, took off all their gear, and left it on the floor while I rushed over to deal with Geof's owies. Once dealt with, cleaned up, bandaged up, etc...I walked into the hallway where the dogs were waiting. I discovered that Tucker had chewed the plastic clips to pieces on his and Gotham's harnesses. Yay. SO we ordered new harnesses for the dogs and full fingered bicycling gloves for Geof. Then we had dinner with my parents so Geof wouldn't have to make dinner (I don't make dinner).

Monday I didn't get up til about noon. I had to 'cause mom was giving away cuttings from her Pothos plant and I was the one who had to post the ad on Facebook 'cause mom is a total FB newb. Because I was the one arranging for people to pick up and shit, I got up, got ready, took dogs out, blah blah blah...and no one shows up at the time they're supposed to. 🤦🏻‍♀️ So I decide to ride Leila over to pick up Geof from work (he gets off @ 1:30 pm on Mondays). At 1, I get a text that someone is on their way to pick up a cutting. I check the time and figure they probably will arrive soon enough that I can still ride over to get Geof, so I say "OK" and keep prepping to go. I deal with the hand-off when they arrive, then continue to go pick up Geof. He didn't know I was going to get him, so I got to surprise him! I picked him up, we got home, then we had to cut up carpet for the cart. I cut up the carpet while Geof watched. He gave each carpet cutting a good wallop against a tree to get as much dust and dirt out of them as possible. We'll have to measure and trim and melt the edges of each to fit it to the cart, but we figured doing that later would be fine. Hopefully it will be enough traction for Tucker to get in and out of the cart without any issues while it's moving. Monday ended with me working, as usual.

Today has been a nothing day. I've done very little. I got up around noon. I changed Geof's bandages when he came home for lunch (he neglected to do so this morning because he was running late for work). And I've basically just chilled in bed since. I did work on my Gallery more, though, so that was at least a little bit of productivity! And I'm writing my blog finally! GO ME! I just high-fived myself in my head, because I decided I'm awesome. I don't know what, if anything, I'll do the rest of the evening. I do have to work again tonight, so I'll at least have to do that. Oh well. Ya'll are caught up again, which was the entire point of this, so one more accomplishment down!

Ooh! I just remembered the funny story of the day! 

-Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen-

Evelyn: "I just finished my History test."

Geof: "How was it?"

Evelyn: "Torture."

(She got an A on the test)

And with that, I shall bid you adieu. 

May God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins.

Oooh, Doughnuts!

 Man, that last post was quite the mood, huh? 

I haven't been moving much the last few days, other than work, which is necessary. I have been working on my web page, though! It's been a lot of coding, which is NOT my favorite, but it's yielded some awesomeness! I'm super excited for how my gallery is finally coming together! 

So, I've NOT been moving much, because it's painful. Probably had a bit to do with my mood the other day. Yes, I do use pain meds. No, pain meds don't make all the pain go away. Things are still very sensitive even today, but it's getting better. 

My dreams last night were very coding-related. Not the worst nightmares ever, mind you, but still not pleasant dreams. I really just don't like coding. It is a necessary part of building a web page, though, when you can't afford to pay someone else to do it. I managed to get it all to match the blog, so it all kind of flows, which is neat!

I started looking at other web page hosting sites. The one I'm currently using is free and fully customize-able because it's my dad's. I don't know that it will handle high traffic, though, and I know it isn't considered "safe" so I can't have embedded content on it yet, only links. It's not the worst, but it isn't really ideal. I don't know if we can afford, yet, to add another monthly payment to our ever-growing out-flow of finances, though. It may just have to wait a while, yet.  

I started looking at Twitch again today. I created an account a while back and have left it dormant so far. I'm not really sure how to go about using it, so I'm reading the stuff they have that's supposed to help with that. I feel really dumb when I'm on video. I despise the sound of my own voice when it's recorded. I don't know how I'm going to get past all that, but I think I'm ultimately going to have to, 'cause growing an art business without people who really love your art, seems pretty impossible. 

The other day, I started talking more with Geof about needing a business partner. He said he'd be that, but if Draw Me With Passion is going to thrive, I really need to find someone who wants it to thrive as bad as I do. Someone that also is good at all the business-y things I'm NOT good at. My executive functioning skills are next to nothing, and it shows. 

I couldn't sleep last night. I tried, but my brain wouldn't let me stop working on my gallery until nearly 3 am. I finally could lay down, then, but I still couldn't sleep! I was awake til after 6:30 this morning when Geof was getting up for work, finally (he kept turning his alarms off 😂). After I finally fell asleep, my brain woke me up before 11 this morning because of the web page again. So work tonight is going to probably be a tad rough, unless by some miracle, I get a nap in. 

How does one go about finding, and connecting with, a great business partner? It's not as simple as putting out an ad. People don't want to be part of something that isn't going to have a financial return immediately, and starting up a business means waiting and working to get it to a place where it can support itself before it ever gets to a place where it can support you. We're talking years of work, generally. I mean, I know someone who I'd LOVE to have as a business partner, cuz they're super awesome, but an awesome friend isn't always the best choice for a business partner, right? I don't know..This whole thing is just more than I can think about for long, right now.

In different news, I keep double spacing after each sentence. Then I remember it's not necessary anymore and I fix it. Then I do it all over again. I learned to type on a real, and old, typewriter. It was a class I actually enjoyed. The teacher always pointed to things with her middle finger. She was really old! The whole class (there were like 5 of us, probably) would giggle every time. She always complemented my on my skill (can you say "ego boost"??). She said it probably had to do with the fact that I played piano. She was probably correct. Ah, check that out, a little more news for you about me, I can play the piano! I don't play, but I can. I have plenty of lessons under my belt. Somewhere between 7 and 9 years of them. I'm pretty sure there's at least parts of some songs that my fingers likely still remember.

I, literally, just now remembered that I have a coupon to Hurts Doughnut Shop! Now I want a doughnut...

I guess that ends this blog post! I'm going to go ride Leila over to the doughnut shop! If that's not a good reason for a ride and a smile, I don't know what is! 💛💛

Bloody Fucking Hell

Fuck the female reproductive system. Fuck white supremacist assholes. Fuck all the people who can't see past their own fucking noses to care about someone other than themselves. Fuck stupid bowels. Fuck the stuckupbastardabusivepaidoffbybigbuisnesscaresnothingforthepeopleusagovernment. Fuck politics. Fuck the stupidfuckingpandemic. Fuck not sleeping. Fuck people who vote for fools...allthefuckingpeople! It's fucking time for women to run the fucking world. Strong women. Women who care about PEOPLE over big business. Women who can't be bought. It's time for a revolution. Our government is not worth keeping in its current state. Scrap it and start the fuck over. Fuck stupid work. Fuck headaches. Fuck cramps. Fuck pain. Fuck all the things. Fuck fucking every stupid fucking thing. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!

!!!!!!

!!!!

FUCK!

!!

That is all.

Find a reason to smile!

 Yesterday was terrible. Today doesn't seem to be starting out that great either, and it's only 8 am.

Yesterday was terrible only because I was going on next-to-no-sleep. I really have no idea how much sleep I got, only that I put my phone away after 3 am and still didn't fall asleep any time soon; then I woke up at 5 am. My body wasn't ready, I dozed back off and woke again 10 minutes later. I forced myself to get up, then, so I wouldn't accidentally end up late for work, 'cause it was a distinct possibility at that point. I left a tad earlier than usual to make sure I had plenty of time to ride to work slower than speed limit, which was good, 'cause it was pretty cold and my fingers didn't like me riding faster than about 45 mph. The ride is always nice, so no complaints there. Chilly fingers are nothing when riding is an option. 😊 Work went fine. I didn't do much. I DID forget my Keens, which sucked, 'cause my riding boots are NOT made for walking, and walking happens a LOT at work. I walked very slowly to compensate (I walk pretty slowly anyway, my body doesn't much care for walking regardless). 

There was a big event on campus, and way too many people around. 2 extra staff were on duty, so I had people in and out of the office the entire shift. This wouldn't have been an issue, but I live in the same house (different domicile) as my parents, and am in consistent contact with them. My father has breathing troubles and we're in the middle of a pandemic that hits people harder when they're over 60 and/or have pre-existing conditions which could make the disease worse. My father meets both of those criteria. And these people, who are supposed to be wearing masks because it says so all over the damn campus (and because we're in the middle of a fucking pandemic!), are refusing to wear their masks whenever they're in the office. None take a hint from me, who not only wears the mask constantly, but ensures it's extra tight fitting anytime they walk in without a mask on. None ask if I'm comfortable with them wandering in close proximity to me without a mask on, while I'm obviously not comfortable with it. It's so frustrating!  Oh, and all this shit AFTER a conversation with one of them, earlier this SAME MORNING, about faculty, staff and students on campus NOT WEARING THEIR MASKS (at all or properly) AND HOW FUCKING FRUSTRATING IT IS! WHATtheACTUALFUCK?! And I can't take out this frustration toward THEIR boss (we have different bosses, because I'm just a contract worker), because HE was doing the SAME THING the other day! UGH!!! I just want to scream. Sigh...

So I finished work, told my boss my frustrations, she said she'd talk to their boss about my concerns (She, thank god, got the hint that I need people wearing masks around me at all times and has made sure to do so almost all the time).

People in America, right now, have made wearing a mask into a political thing. For me, it's because I don't want my father to die (Yes, I could die too, along with anyone in my household, but HIS risk is highest). How can people politicize something so base? How can a desire to live instead of die, or to keep one's own family alive, so easily become so controversial? 

I have a friend who currently lives in Canada, and he has expressed to me an opinion shared by so much of the world right now. America is a laughing-stock. As well it should be, at this point. We've allowed a fool to sit as president, and it's beginning to look like it will happen for another 4 years. Thank GOD we have a limit in place to keep it from being longer than that. We've allowed ourselves to become so divided that we can't agree on something as simple as keeping ourselves and our families alive in the midst of a pandemic. We've allowed ourselves to continue to be a nation divided by race, color, gender, and financial status. We've allowed our government to treat "illegal aliens" as animals. I found out recently that ICE has been spaying women in containment camps. Yes, spaying. Removal of the uterus, WITHOUT CONSENT! I cannot have that procedure done WITH my own consent, UNLESS I meet all sorts of prerequisites, BUT it's OK for ICE to do it without consent to women in containment camps who are not citizens. What is wrong with people?! We are so fucked...Oh, and we don't only spay them, we take their children away from them to be given to American families, or to be trafficked in our "child welfare" system. Yes, trafficked. The foster care system is inundated with child TRAFFICKING. As a society, can we get much worse? #AmericaTheDevastated #PeopleAreJustAnimals 

Sorry, I got off track. I was focusing on me, and my struggles and got distracted with caring about other people for a moment. How un-American of me. #UNAMERICAN

Let's get back to me now. 

I rode Leila home, managed to do so without being too drowsy. Drowsy is EXTREMELY dangerous on motorcycle. I had to force myself to be extremely vigilant any time I felt the least distracted. Which only made the feeling tired worse when I finally got home. I took my gloves and helmet off and bent over to rest my head on Leila for a moment. Exhaustion, man...ugh. I got all my shit off Leila and into the house just as Geof was bringing the dogs out to go potty. He took Gotham out off leash, so I made sure to assist to get him back inside quickly, then I went upstairs, had to use the toilet (all the icky info included in my blog, oops...), and when FINALLY I finished, I climbed into bed and just fell asleep. No idea what time it was. I asked Geof last night, but I've since forgotten because ADHD (I'd like to just start calling it Attention Surplus Disorder, since that's what it really is, but ASD is already designated for Autism Spectrum Disorder, which actually shares a lot of the same symptoms with ADHD). I didn't wake up until Geof fed the dogs their dinner, maybe around 7 pm? It could have been later, I don't really remember. I know Geof went on a bike ride because I went to sleep. ANYWAY, Geof surprised me with dinner after feeding the dogs. 😍 And then a little later, he didn't make me take the dogs out (though I know he wanted to) and brought me ice cream!! So my day at least ENDED on a good note! Well, until after midnight when my legs and arms threw a fit and made sleeping difficult again...But we can hang onto that ending on a good note thing 🤣😂🤣

And NOW Today! Today begins bloody hell week. This, as some of you maybe can imagine, is the week where my body gives me literal bloody hell! 😃 <--smiley face is total sarcasm) I began cramping and bleeding today. 2 bloody hell weeks ago (for anyone who does not comprehend how periods work, it's been a couple months since then) I neglected to medicate during the cramping phase and ended up in pretty severe pain afterward because of extremely sensitive uterus, abdomen, etc... HOPEFULLY medication will help keep the after-pain from being so severe. The fact that I can still feel the cramps after taking the meds is sign for concern, though, I think. 

The dogs were lying on the bed all chill together with me (while I'm awake!). I think this means Tucker is finally getting used to sharing a bedroom with us. Big positives for this guy. He's a rescue and we have no idea what his background is. We know only that he's extremely oral, wants to put his mouth on literally everything; and highly reactive, we will likely be working on this his entire life. Because he's reactive it's not safe to have him near strangers without a muzzle and cautions for people to mind their own, so we got a bright red harness with directions for others to not look at him, or give him any kind of attention. Tucker will probably be forever "in training" but he's so loving and cuddly and sweet! And we're glad to have been able to give him a loving home for the rest of his life. The fact that he's reactive means that we'll probably never be able to board him or leave him with family, which is why we're taking him with us on our Niobrara River trip. He'll get a LOT of time with Geof and lots of practice with traveling this way, though, which are all positives! Hopefully we'll eventually get to start taking BOTH boys with us on our adventures!

Ooh, it's 9:30 and the cramping is a lot less noticeable now. Maybe this meds thing will work...¿?¿?

Speaking of ¿?¿?¿?¿? Geof's new tires (Geof just got new tires) are Riddler brand. So he wants a sticker with the Riddler question marks. I told him that I want to design it 😊 (cuz, y'know, I'm an artist). I think it would be cooler to have a bunch of little question mark stickers instead of one sticker. I will have to run it by him when he gets home (if I remember. If I don't remember, he'll just have to notice it here when he finally reads my blog 😆).

I don't have plans for today, except work. Maybe I should make some art. I'll have to get up and move (more than just taking the dogs outside). Or maybe prepare an adventure for Wednesday's gaming session. If any of you have any (really GOOD) ideas, you are welcome to share them. Maybe I'll implement one or more into our game. Then maybe I'll remember to let ya'll know if I do! I never really know what I'll remember, so try not to get frustrated when I forget things like that. OR just remind me to share! I don't mind good-natured reminders. 

----- ----- ----- ADHD ----- ----- -----

Just heard some news which reminds me of some political crap I fucking HATE. I HATE that our government can be bought. Fuckingpissesmethefuckoffomg! That is all. 

----- ----- ----- ADHD ----- ----- -----

Maybe I should try to work on my web page. I kind of like the ideas of working on my web page or planning for gaming, cuz I don't really want to get up right now. Oh well, I'll leave ya'll for now. Maybe I'll write some more later today, but I think I need to focus on other things for a while. 

Do something fun today, and find a reason to smile!

Happy Birthday, Geof!

Alright, I skipped a couple days, so I'll try to catch you up on what's been happening.

Thursday was my anniversary. I didn't remember until Wednesday that it was going to be, and I really didn't remember anyway cuz Geof told me and I was like, "It is? I didn't realize it was that close to your birthday." And he was like, "Yeah, that's why I can remember it!" So that's how that happened. So yeah, Thursday was my anniversary. My mom gave us a card from her and dad. It was funny. I will take photos for you.

Geof told me that mom had told him what the *coupon* said when she gave him the card, silly mommy. AND when we got downstairs for dinner that night, she made sure to point out that the roles would be reversed for Geof and myself 🙄.

It took us a while to figure out what we wanted for dinner, but we eventually settled on Buzzard Billy's. I decided I'd handle ordering and picking it up. When I called the order in I asked them to have it ready by 6-6:15, so the gal said it'd be ready by 6:15. I picked it up on time, got it all tied down on Leila, and rode it home. When we sat down to eat, some of the food was a tad less hot than preferable, which made me wonder if they prepped it too early... Oh well, a fun time was had by us all, regardless, and I was afforded the opportunity to taste gator for the second time in my life. I realized (as I pointed out to a friend earlier this evening) that it has less flavor than chicken, but the texture is nearly the same, so people often say it tastes like chicken, and they're basically correct. Chicken is a tad more flavorful, though. 

Friday I worked in the morning and didn't freeze on my ride there cuz I dressed appropriately this time. My ride home was nice, if a tad chilly. Then we went grocery shopping.

Today was Geof's birthday. I took the day off work and surprised him this morning when I finally told him. He was literally giddy! That made me super happy. I got up, took the dogs outside, then fed the pets before going back to bed, it was a great morning. We ended up sleeping til noon, then we got up, took dogs out again, I shaved Geof's head, he prepped his bike and went for a ride, I then went down and assisted mom with dinner prep. Mom already had the cake done when I got down there but was confused why it was all cracked on the top. I reminded her it didn't matter cuz frosting covers up all the oopses. We proceeded to prep dinner so it would have time to marinate. After we finished, while sitting in the living room just chilling, mom freaked. She practically jumped to her feet, which is kind of a feat when you're like 60, and grabbed the cake exclaiming that she might have just figured out what was wrong with the cake! We rushed to the kitchen, she pulled out a fork, took a bite, and with a horrified voice exclaimed, "I was right! I forgot the sugar!" She was about to throw the whole cake away! I laughed, of course, because it was funny, and I stopped her. I reminded her that Geof loves super bitter dark chocolate and probably would like it. She made me taste it even though I don't care for cake, especially with peanut butter frosting, and I didn't think it was really all that bad. Dad tasted it later and said he preferred it that way. And Geof got home right then so I made him taste it, and he loved it too, so we didn't waste a cake! Mom still insisted on making another, correctly this time, for herself and Evelyn. 

After Geof got home, he cooled off from his ride, got changed, then we went out to drive the bike route he plans to take out of town, to see what it was like and make sure it's acceptable. It took us nearly an hour to drive it, cuz parts were in dense foot traffic and then country roads, one of which was so terrible! Anyway, we made it through, then it took us 15 minutes to get home via the highways 🤣😂🤣

Once home we had dinner, with wine. It was delicious! I so hate the way my brain gets with alcohol if I drink too much too fast, though. After dinner, I buzzed my hair, it feels amazing again, yay!! Took a bath, cut all my nails, and now I'm in bed ready to sleep. Got an early morning coming.

Good night my peoples! 💛

The Stone of Returning

Today was game day. For anyone who regularly gets together with friends to play a game, you know this is always the best day.

We play Dungeons and Dragons. I, by happenstance, am the Dungeon Master (DM). Evelyn plays a centaur barbarian named Esmeray. Geof plays a half drow, half high elf rogue named Elvyl. We have two other awesome people who join us each game day. One plays a high elf ranger, the half brother of Elvyl, named Orren. The other plays a dwarf life cleric named Hrothgar.

Today we finished up the last of an adventure I kind of just threw together. I think everyone enjoyed the adventure, for the most part. Geof seems to be the snootiest of the party members, throwing out his complaints with the NPC characters whenever they come off to him in a way he dislikes. Often, along with fun, comes silly dramas caused by things maybe not going quite the expected way, or moving along at not quite the expected speed. I am a newb DM, you see, so I inevitably take far too long to figure things out, or have massive difficulty role-playing an NPC. Part of this is likely due to my lack of planning. I don't take time to plan out all the minutia of each NPC which could possibly interact with a character, so when I'm caught off guard, I get stumped. I'm also terrible at role-play, so I think role-play tends to be boring for everyone involved. 

Evelyn has proven to become excessively bored by any kind of minutia which does not pertain to combat. She will often get distracted by other things and become difficult to drag back to the conversation (since we've become forced to game together online instead of in person). In person, it's not so difficult, because she's present in body and can be snapped back to reality. This, of course, is an ADHD symptom. We've not yet had Evelyn diagnosed, but we hope to soon, so we can take advantage of all available forms of assistance for her. Success sometimes is easier, and far less damaging, when supports can be supplied earlier than later. I know, because I'm only just now researching and maneuvering the possible supports available to me. I wish I'd had them earlier in life, or at least had a diagnosis! Being different, and having no idea why, is extremely difficult and disheartening. Evelyn has us for support, and the knowledge of why she is so much like her mom, but more supports could prove to be a relief for her, if we can find ones that work.

Pardon the distraction (ADHD brain), back to the game day!

So, after finishing up the adventure, everyone leveled up their characters and decided what to do during a span of down-time. We then maneuvered most of that before everyone left to get back to their own mundane adventures. We did NOT finish with Evelyn, though, because her character has some complexities which are a bit more confusing to work through. Because of this, we also did not get through her down-time activities. One thing she said she wanted to do, was to obtain an item she had discussed with our previous DM (Geof). We placed this all on hold so Evelyn could get her bedtime chores done, and so Geof and I could ride Leila to get some ice cream.

We rode to the Hy-Vee on N 27th, because I decided I also wanted some fancy soda. We got our soda and the ice cream while I got irritated by people who can't tell 6 inches from 6 feet, then we rode home. I tried to tease Evelyn by saying we didn't get her ice cream, but I failed because she was in a different room. When Evelyn finally finished and got her ice cream, she found she did not like it. She informed us that it was disgusting. I guess we'll have to find some better cheap-crap ice cream for her next time, 'cause Blue Bunny is OUT!

We sent Evelyn to bed, then Geof and I chilled together and ate ice cream (the fancy Ben & Jerry's kind). While I ate my ice cream, I worked on Evelyn's new magic item. While Geof ate his, he read. We finished, then continued on our little projects, being together but doing different things. 

I finally finished Evelyn's magic item, though, which is the title of this blog. You can view it here: Stone of Returning

Good night, my friends, and fun sleepy-time, dreamy adventures! 💛

A Walk in the Park

 After I got up today, I met Geof for lunch at Qdoba. I tried to catch him mid-way since he was walking, so I could take him the rest of the way on Leila, but he walked faster than I expected and I missed him, so we got to Qdoba at just about the same time. 

After lunch I took my leftovers home, got my art stuff together, and went to Pioneer's Park to draw. I worked on a commission I've been working on. I got a little done, but not as much as I had hoped. Figuring out the dimensions has been a bit more difficult than usual. I'll be posting photos in Patreon as I go, so if you're interested in seeing this or any other works in progress, you can check it out there! You can keep an eye on my gallery to see older works as they get posted.

I had to get Geof at 5:30, so I stopped and moseyed back to Leila for the ride home, since I had to put my art stuff away before getting Geof. After I picked up Geof, we got gas then returned home. Geof was very happy to work on his bicycle in hopes of finally having tubes in his tires that will stay filled. Evelyn was very excited to make waffles! 

The waffles were delicious, and now I have to get ready and go to work. Another late night. I'll be there again 'til 3 am.

Catch ya'll later!

The (mostly) Silent Dialogue

Body: *wakes up*

Me: *looks @ clock & sees it's almost 10 am.* "Why are we waking up @ 10?!? We didn't get to sleep till after 4:30 am!!"

Body: "We have to pee. Just get the fuck up & pee."

Me: "But we just peed @ 4am!!"

Body: "So? Get up & pee, bitch, or we're doing it right the fuck here!"

Me: *gets up to pee*

Body: *shivers in an uncontrollable, really tired way*

Me: *goes back to bed*

Boys (dogs): "We come?"

Me (actually speaking): "ugh... No! You play too much! If I let you in, you have to lay down."

Tucker: *starts laying down, then figures out I didn't really give a command & stops @ sitting, then continues to stare pleadingly*

Me (actually speaking): "ugh... Go lay down!"

Gotham: *grabs bone & goes to lay down in bedroom*

Tucker: *seems unsure & slightly dejectedly begins walking toward the kennel*

Me (actually speaking): "No, get back here."

Gotham: *brings bone to me*

Tucker: *turns around hopeful*

Me (actually speaking): "Drop it."

Gotham: *drops the bone*

Tucker: *continues hopeful look*

Me: *kicks bone out the door & closes it, careless of which boy is where & just needing to fucking sleep* 

Gotham: *looks @ bone longingly as door closes, then returns to bed*

Tucker: *looks sad as door closes*

Me: *climbs slowly into bed to lie down*

Gotham: "I'm coming too!"

Me (actually speaking): "No! Go away!" *listens as he goes away then continues getting into bed*

Me: "Ugh... go to sleep body!!"

Body: "It's not my fault, brain is keeping us awake."

Brain: *feels that Body is unnaturally heavy in limbs, hungry, randomly itchy. Starts hearing all the things, most especially phone noises* "please can we just get up & respond to noises from phone?"

Me: "No. Body is exhausted. Stop making sounds & music that aren't really happening, & no you don't need to look @ the phone, just go the fuck to sleep!"

Brain: *stays awake as long as possible trying to distract with all the things*

Body: *refuses to move except for weird itches & pains in odd places*

Brain: *finally gives in & starts dreaming instead*

Body: *sleeps*

-Alarm goes off @ noon-

Brain: "Yes! We get to do things again!"

Body: *refuses to move.* "We're not fucking awake, go away"

-News starts playing-

Brain: *gets distracted listening to news*

Body: *ever so slowly moves here & there, beginning to wake up.*

-News finishes playing-

Brain: "Can we get up now?"

Body: *barely awake* "I guess..."

Me (@ noon:50): "Fuck, we didn't take our meds yet."

The Slowasfucktrain

I didn't end up editing yesterday's blog. Geof couldn't remember what I did Thursday either. Except for working, I worked late that night. (Thursday I BLOGGED, seriously brain...what the fuck)<-updated 09-15-2020 @ 2:30 am.

And now TODAY! (9-14-2020) 

Let's see...today I woke up but didn't really get up and about initially. Convinced the dogs to chill with me. Tucker doesn't chill very well usually, but he managed after I kept shooing him from the bed every time he tried to bring the bone up there for chewing. I finally got up around noon-thirty (noon is my usual wake up time), took my meds, then took the dogs (heretofore referred to as "boys") outside (they were getting insistent). I decided I wanted to visit my friend, Nate, at Behind the Glass, (his comic book shop). I knew I might get chilly, so I pulled out a scarf. It was green, so I decided to dress to match and put on a green tank-top. I felt like a bit more decoration would be fun, so I put on yellow  and green eye liners and mixed hold with green hair gel for a lighter green and put it on one side of my head. When I was finished, I went downstairs and got mom to help ensure my line was straight, then I got myself together and left. I rode Leila (my motorcycle) over to the shop and chilled there for a couple hours. 

 -dopleasenoticemywaycoolmaskinthephotos-

Geof got off work at 3 so I met him at home. The plan was to take his rims to the shop in an attempt to discover why his tubes keep going flat and to see if his rims are OK to use with tubeless tires. Then to either get tubeless installed or get new tubes so he could ride this evening with Evelyn. So I latched the rims onto Leila and we rode to Scheels. Once there, we found out the rims probably weren't tubeless ready and that due to Covid, they didn't have any tubes in his size and shipment of tubes  was delayed. So we latched the rims back onto Leila and returned home. At home, I told Geof he could use my bicycle to ride with Evelyn, so he started getting bikes ready while I went to pick up Evelyn from her Dad's. 

Once home, Geof and Evelyn set out for their ride and I chilled a bit, received a package delivery, took it inside to give to mom, then got some dinner (leftovers from last night's dinner). I finished eating, grabbed bike tools that Geof asked for, then headed out to meet them at a little ice cream shop. I beat them there and discovered the shop was closed. Terribly disappointing. I wanted ice cream... Finally Geof and Ev arrived, made slight adjustments, then we all headed home.

I knew they weren't going to make it back before it got dark, so I gathered the bicycle headlights and rode out to meet them along the trail.

-This is where the funny begins-

I parked Leila a block away and walked down the road, across railroad tracks, to wait at the bike trail. As soon as they arrived, I gave Evelyn my helmet to hold and attached her light. As I was finishing, I saw a train coming slowly down the tracks, so I left and ran as fast as I could to beat the slowasfucktrain so I wouldn't have to wait for the slowasfucktrain before going home. The moment I cheered myself for beating the slowasfucktrain, I realized my helmet was in Evelyn's hands...on the other side of the slowasfucktrain. So I sat down and waited for the slowasfucktrain so I could retrieve my helmet. As soon as the slowasfucktrain passed, I walked back over, assisted Geof with his bike light because he couldn't get it figured out, then moseyed back to Leila. Why brain?!? Why must you be so impulsive?!?!!!

-Funny over, sadness-

Once home, I took the boys out, watched Geof and Evelyn arrive home, then started prepping for work. So here I am now! At work. Until 3 am. Yay. 

I now bid you adieu, until tomorrow, probably. 💛💛

Finger Babbling Should Be a Thing

 I haven't posted for a few days, so I decided I should now. I don't know what to post, so I'm just going to babble until something comes out of it that I like, then I'll edit until I think it's readable and makes a little sense. As a side note, finger babbling should be a thing...

Let's see, on the 10th, I have no idea what I did. I'll update when Geof reminds me later. (OMG I just noticed I already blogged on this day!! -it's the 15th at 2:30 am, go figure...)

On the 11th, I did exactly nothing until the very end of the day (after 9 pm) when I finally got up (with Geof's assistance), shaved Geof's head and buzzed my hair back down to a tactilely pleasing length. Then I took a bath. Why did I do nothing? It's a difficult question to answer. I felt incapable of doing. I was mentally exhausted. I don't know why. I don't know where it came from, or why I finally moved when Geof helped me up. Thinking about it makes me want to cry because it makes me feel like a failure somehow. It probably had something to do with ADHD. I learn something new about ADHD every day, I think. Maybe it has something to do with the ADHD meds I'm on. I wish I knew more. It's extremely frustrating to know nothing about one's self.

On the 12th, I got up right when my alarm went off (5 am) and started getting ready for work. I rode my motorcycle to work (Crete, NE), because I could and duh, it's a motorcycle... I was scheduled to work from 7 am - 9:30 pm. At 3 pm, someone came in to make up some hours, so I was gifted the opportunity to stop working early. I then began a really fun trip to surprise Geof! I knew he was on his way to ride the Oak Creek Trail. I saw him on my map (we share location with each other), and he was nearly there already when I set out. I stopped at every other turn, or so, to check messages (so he wouldn't suspect anything, and so I knew at what step he was on his adventure). I booked it the last leg of my trip in hopes of catching him before he started out. It was my luck that he had a flat tire just when he arrived and had to take the time to change it. And even MORE luck for me, that he couldn't figure out his new mini pump! I made it just as he was starting out and I honked, and he looked, and I waved, and he got the biggest smile on his face! I live for that smile. It's my favorite.

AND today, copy and paste my morning routine from yesterday, EXCEPT: I was tired and didn't want to get up and waited like five minutes before finally moving and when I finally moved I sat in the bathroom, on the toilet, doing nothing for like 25 minutes, until my third alarm went off and I decided I should finally get dressed for work. BUT I didn't have to get lunch or breakfast ready cuz it was already at work from yesterday because I had planned to work allfuckingdaylong but didn't have to because of the awesomeness I wrote about a moment ago, so I actually ended up riding out earlier than yesterday, which was a good thing because it was FUCKINGCOLDASHELL this morning. Colder than yesterday morning. So I rode slower to keep my fingers from turning black or literally falling off, and kept reaching them down to the engine to warm them. I arrived to work extremely tense from the cold. My body is still tired from that, and probably from whatever made me tired this morning. Maybe I'll fall asleep at a decent hour tonight? Or, like some nights, maybe I'll end up napping when I get home and be up till like 4 am...who knows. 

ALSO today, Geof couldn't get the photos inserted into his blog the way he wanted because they were too big, so I had him send them to me in messenger (they came as links..weird), then I copied them, pasted them into the conversation and sent them back to him. He was still not able, for whatever reason, to get them in, so I re-downloaded them and inserted them from my side and it worked. THEN I tried to save, but wasn't sure it had saved because Geof refreshed and didn't see them, so I had to convince him to close out of the editor so I could save and he'd be able to see the changes, but it took fucking forever to convince him for idk why. Maybe I need to teach him how it works...? ANYWAY, I finally got him to close it out, I saved, and they showed up, and he's going to finish his post after gaming. He plays Dungeons & Dragons on Sundays with his gaming group. 

Now I'm waiting for my parents to bring me a chocolate shake from DQ because they offered me a snack since they happened to be in Crete today, and Geof is planning for us to ride to a little ice cream shoppe that just re-opened after having been destroyed by a tornado last year or the year before. He, of course, will ride his bicycle, and I will ride my motorcycle. He told me the ice cream was an excuse to take out the new tire tubes for a spin, but I think taking out the new tubes is really his excuse to go get ice cream. Alright, I have stuff I have to do now. So I'll catch up with ya'll later when it's time for me to update this post with whateverthefuckIdidonThursday.