About Me

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Lincoln, Nebraska, United States
I'm an artist, mother, entrepreneur and advocate. I'm poly and pan. I have ADHD.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Find a reason to smile!

 Yesterday was terrible. Today doesn't seem to be starting out that great either, and it's only 8 am.

Yesterday was terrible only because I was going on next-to-no-sleep. I really have no idea how much sleep I got, only that I put my phone away after 3 am and still didn't fall asleep any time soon; then I woke up at 5 am. My body wasn't ready, I dozed back off and woke again 10 minutes later. I forced myself to get up, then, so I wouldn't accidentally end up late for work, 'cause it was a distinct possibility at that point. I left a tad earlier than usual to make sure I had plenty of time to ride to work slower than speed limit, which was good, 'cause it was pretty cold and my fingers didn't like me riding faster than about 45 mph. The ride is always nice, so no complaints there. Chilly fingers are nothing when riding is an option. ๐Ÿ˜Š Work went fine. I didn't do much. I DID forget my Keens, which sucked, 'cause my riding boots are NOT made for walking, and walking happens a LOT at work. I walked very slowly to compensate (I walk pretty slowly anyway, my body doesn't much care for walking regardless). 

There was a big event on campus, and way too many people around. 2 extra staff were on duty, so I had people in and out of the office the entire shift. This wouldn't have been an issue, but I live in the same house (different domicile) as my parents, and am in consistent contact with them. My father has breathing troubles and we're in the middle of a pandemic that hits people harder when they're over 60 and/or have pre-existing conditions which could make the disease worse. My father meets both of those criteria. And these people, who are supposed to be wearing masks because it says so all over the damn campus (and because we're in the middle of a fucking pandemic!), are refusing to wear their masks whenever they're in the office. None take a hint from me, who not only wears the mask constantly, but ensures it's extra tight fitting anytime they walk in without a mask on. None ask if I'm comfortable with them wandering in close proximity to me without a mask on, while I'm obviously not comfortable with it. It's so frustrating!  Oh, and all this shit AFTER a conversation with one of them, earlier this SAME MORNING, about faculty, staff and students on campus NOT WEARING THEIR MASKS (at all or properly) AND HOW FUCKING FRUSTRATING IT IS! WHATtheACTUALFUCK?! And I can't take out this frustration toward THEIR boss (we have different bosses, because I'm just a contract worker), because HE was doing the SAME THING the other day! UGH!!! I just want to scream. Sigh...

So I finished work, told my boss my frustrations, she said she'd talk to their boss about my concerns (She, thank god, got the hint that I need people wearing masks around me at all times and has made sure to do so almost all the time).

People in America, right now, have made wearing a mask into a political thing. For me, it's because I don't want my father to die (Yes, I could die too, along with anyone in my household, but HIS risk is highest). How can people politicize something so base? How can a desire to live instead of die, or to keep one's own family alive, so easily become so controversial? 

I have a friend who currently lives in Canada, and he has expressed to me an opinion shared by so much of the world right now. America is a laughing-stock. As well it should be, at this point. We've allowed a fool to sit as president, and it's beginning to look like it will happen for another 4 years. Thank GOD we have a limit in place to keep it from being longer than that. We've allowed ourselves to become so divided that we can't agree on something as simple as keeping ourselves and our families alive in the midst of a pandemic. We've allowed ourselves to continue to be a nation divided by race, color, gender, and financial status. We've allowed our government to treat "illegal aliens" as animals. I found out recently that ICE has been spaying women in containment camps. Yes, spaying. Removal of the uterus, WITHOUT CONSENT! I cannot have that procedure done WITH my own consent, UNLESS I meet all sorts of prerequisites, BUT it's OK for ICE to do it without consent to women in containment camps who are not citizens. What is wrong with people?! We are so fucked...Oh, and we don't only spay them, we take their children away from them to be given to American families, or to be trafficked in our "child welfare" system. Yes, trafficked. The foster care system is inundated with child TRAFFICKING. As a society, can we get much worse? #AmericaTheDevastated #PeopleAreJustAnimals 

Sorry, I got off track. I was focusing on me, and my struggles and got distracted with caring about other people for a moment. How un-American of me. #UNAMERICAN

Let's get back to me now. 

I rode Leila home, managed to do so without being too drowsy. Drowsy is EXTREMELY dangerous on motorcycle. I had to force myself to be extremely vigilant any time I felt the least distracted. Which only made the feeling tired worse when I finally got home. I took my gloves and helmet off and bent over to rest my head on Leila for a moment. Exhaustion, man...ugh. I got all my shit off Leila and into the house just as Geof was bringing the dogs out to go potty. He took Gotham out off leash, so I made sure to assist to get him back inside quickly, then I went upstairs, had to use the toilet (all the icky info included in my blog, oops...), and when FINALLY I finished, I climbed into bed and just fell asleep. No idea what time it was. I asked Geof last night, but I've since forgotten because ADHD (I'd like to just start calling it Attention Surplus Disorder, since that's what it really is, but ASD is already designated for Autism Spectrum Disorder, which actually shares a lot of the same symptoms with ADHD). I didn't wake up until Geof fed the dogs their dinner, maybe around 7 pm? It could have been later, I don't really remember. I know Geof went on a bike ride because I went to sleep. ANYWAY, Geof surprised me with dinner after feeding the dogs. ๐Ÿ˜ And then a little later, he didn't make me take the dogs out (though I know he wanted to) and brought me ice cream!! So my day at least ENDED on a good note! Well, until after midnight when my legs and arms threw a fit and made sleeping difficult again...But we can hang onto that ending on a good note thing ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ


And NOW Today! Today begins bloody hell week. This, as some of you maybe can imagine, is the week where my body gives me literal bloody hell! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ <--smiley face is total sarcasm) I began cramping and bleeding today. 2 bloody hell weeks ago (for anyone who does not comprehend how periods work, it's been a couple months since then) I neglected to medicate during the cramping phase and ended up in pretty severe pain afterward because of extremely sensitive uterus, abdomen, etc... HOPEFULLY medication will help keep the after-pain from being so severe. The fact that I can still feel the cramps after taking the meds is sign for concern, though, I think. 

The dogs were lying on the bed all chill together with me (while I'm awake!). I think this means Tucker is finally getting used to sharing a bedroom with us. Big positives for this guy. He's a rescue and we have no idea what his background is. We know only that he's extremely oral, wants to put his mouth on literally everything; and highly reactive, we will likely be working on this his entire life. Because he's reactive it's not safe to have him near strangers without a muzzle and cautions for people to mind their own, so we got a bright red harness with directions for others to not look at him, or give him any kind of attention. Tucker will probably be forever "in training" but he's so loving and cuddly and sweet! And we're glad to have been able to give him a loving home for the rest of his life. The fact that he's reactive means that we'll probably never be able to board him or leave him with family, which is why we're taking him with us on our Niobrara River trip. He'll get a LOT of time with Geof and lots of practice with traveling this way, though, which are all positives! Hopefully we'll eventually get to start taking BOTH boys with us on our adventures!

Ooh, it's 9:30 and the cramping is a lot less noticeable now. Maybe this meds thing will work...¿?¿?

Speaking of ¿?¿?¿?¿? Geof's new tires (Geof just got new tires) are Riddler brand. So he wants a sticker with the Riddler question marks. I told him that I want to design it ๐Ÿ˜Š (cuz, y'know, I'm an artist). I think it would be cooler to have a bunch of little question mark stickers instead of one sticker. I will have to run it by him when he gets home (if I remember. If I don't remember, he'll just have to notice it here when he finally reads my blog ๐Ÿ˜†).

I don't have plans for today, except work. Maybe I should make some art. I'll have to get up and move (more than just taking the dogs outside). Or maybe prepare an adventure for Wednesday's gaming session. If any of you have any (really GOOD) ideas, you are welcome to share them. Maybe I'll implement one or more into our game. Then maybe I'll remember to let ya'll know if I do! I never really know what I'll remember, so try not to get frustrated when I forget things like that. OR just remind me to share! I don't mind good-natured reminders. 

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Just heard some news which reminds me of some political crap I fucking HATE. I HATE that our government can be bought. Fuckingpissesmethefuckoffomg! That is all. 

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Maybe I should try to work on my web page. I kind of like the ideas of working on my web page or planning for gaming, cuz I don't really want to get up right now. Oh well, I'll leave ya'll for now. Maybe I'll write some more later today, but I think I need to focus on other things for a while. 

Do something fun today, and find a reason to smile!

2 comments:

  1. i also am receiving hell from this skin bag i live in. ��. she’s a jerk. my something fun is FINALLY finishing a blanket project. ��.

    xo.
    a.jo

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    Replies
    1. Sorry :( to the first part. Awesome! to the second. :) I can't wait to see it! (That means you need to show me :D haha)

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