About Me

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Lincoln, Nebraska, United States
I'm an artist, mother, entrepreneur and advocate. I'm poly and pan. I have ADHD.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

The (mostly) Silent Dialogue

Body: *wakes up*
Me: *looks @ clock & sees it's almost 10 am.* "Why are we waking up @ 10?!? We didn't get to sleep till after 4:30 am!!"
Body: "We have to pee. Just get the fuck up & pee."
Me: "But we just peed @ 4am!!"
Body: "So? Get up & pee, bitch, or we're doing it right the fuck here!"
Me: *gets up to pee*
Body: *shivers in an uncontrollable, really tired way*
Me: *goes back to bed*
Boys (dogs): "We come?"
Me (actually speaking): "ugh... No! You play too much! If I let you in, you have to lay down."
Tucker: *starts laying down, then figures out I didn't really give a command & stops @ sitting, then continues to stare pleadingly*
Me (actually speaking): "ugh... Go lay down!"
Gotham: *grabs bone & goes to lay down in bedroom*
Tucker: *seems unsure & slightly dejectedly begins walking toward the kennel*
Me (actually speaking): "No, get back here."
Gotham: *brings bone to me*
Tucker: *turns around hopeful*
Me (actually speaking): "Drop it."
Gotham: *drops the bone*
Tucker: *continues hopeful look*
Me: *kicks bone out the door & closes it, careless of which boy is where & just needing to fucking sleep* 
Gotham: *looks @ bone longingly as door closes, then returns to bed*
Tucker: *looks sad as door closes*
Me: *climbs slowly into bed to lie down*
Gotham: "I'm coming too!"
Me (actually speaking): "No! Go away!" *listens as he goes away then continues getting into bed*
Me: "Ugh... go to sleep body!!"
Body: "It's not my fault, brain is keeping us awake."
Brain: *feels that Body is unnaturally heavy in limbs, hungry, randomly itchy. Starts hearing all the things, most especially phone noises* "please can we just get up & respond to noises from phone?"
Me: "No. Body is exhausted. Stop making sounds & music that aren't really happening, & no you don't need to look @ the phone, just go the fuck to sleep!"
Brain: *stays awake as long as possible trying to distract with all the things*
Body: *refuses to move except for weird itches & pains in odd places*
Brain: *finally gives in & starts dreaming instead*
Body: *sleeps*

-Alarm goes off @ noon-

Brain: "Yes! We get to do things again!"
Body: *refuses to move.* "We're not fucking awake, go away"

-News starts playing-

Brain: *gets distracted listening to news*
Body: *ever so slowly moves here & there, beginning to wake up.*

-News finishes playing-

Brain: "Can we get up now?"
Body: *barely awake* "I guess..."
Me (@ noon:50): "Fuck, we didn't take our meds yet."

2 comments:

  1. you're the most wonderful. thank you for the smile this morning.

    xo.
    a.jo

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    1. Presently please leave your sig on all your comments so I can always tell it's you!! 💛💛💛🤗

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